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All her hair was shorn, on her body and her head, even her eyebrows and her eyelashes. Both her arms were cut off at her shoulders. Her lips and her labia were sewn shut. She did not look deformed, though, the amputations and the sewing had been done carefully, with attention to her delicate beauty. She reclined, almost comfortably it seemed, utterly immobile, with one leg sideways to allow the viewer’s gaze to travel between her thighs, on a small rug-covered recamier. What I remember most about her are her eyes. Huge, dark, wide open, unblinking, they looked at me, her huge dark eyes looked into mine, and I looked back at her, my whole body as immobile as she was, for the whole time that my father and I stayed with the Bey, or so it seems to me in my memory.Even then I understood that the Bey had made her a token not so much of his power, but of his spiritual sublimity, his elevation above the profanities of common human needs — he could afford, without missing something, without. I place the dead batteries and overworkd vibrator between my knees and I wait. I inhale and exhale as I start to come down from my heightened state. I begin to slow my breathing; my stomach begins to knot. I tighten my muscles, though it does not help relieve the sensation to pee. As I squirm on my knees, waiting, my Master enters the room. His head is held high, his shoulders are broad and chest is hard. OH NO! Does he know I came? Does he know I pinched my nipples? I look at him with adoring eyes and a smile, but I know not to speak until he speaks first. There is a faint smile on his lips as if he is laughing at me. He asks me, “Has my little slut learned her lesson?” I frown as a tear rolls down my cheek. I look down at the carpet ashamed I could not do as my Master commanded. I say in a whispered voice, “Master I am sorry, but I could not do it. I tried to breath like you taught me. I tried to control my sensations, but as the batteries began to die, the vibrator began to.
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